rendezvous in a library

I just came across this write-up which is an imaginary conversation that a guy has with a girl whom he chances upon, in a library:

Hi XX... My name is XY … If all the book covers were as attractive as you - the library would surely serve its intended purpose. I hope you are not tagged in the 'Reference' section. They say the library is a place of knowledge. And I realised the truth in that statement today, because I have actually gained enlightenment on what true beauty is - after I set my eyes upon you.

The one time I've seen you, the camera of my eye has captured the indelible image of your pretty face and is playing it over & over in the projector of my mind in rewind mode. I figured talking to you might push my life into fast-forward mode. Love begins with attraction. Attraction is catalysed by silence. So here I am - with the rhythmic beat of my heart-beat defying the domination of silence. The “Silence Please” display board in the library doesn’t hold good as my emotions overflow. But my vocabulary is unable to convey the whispers of my heart. But I shall still try.

I am not to sure on what I want to say. But I do know for sure that coffee is not available in the library. In the search for a more suitable environment, I solicit your presence in the nearby coffee shop... and the gentleman talking to you right now shall accompany you.

And here is where I come in. Below is my attempt to give a befitting reply to this infantile chatter:

Hi XY... I have been taught to never judge a book by the cover and that could be the reason for library not serving its purpose. I am in the 'magazine' section checking out an article on 'what men want'. Library is a place for knowledge, no doubt; and I have learnt how men tell the weirdest of things just to impress a girl.

The one time you saw me, you were floored and out of your senses. I tend to have that effect on men. But beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Lust begins with attraction, love begins with understanding each other. So, please hold the horses of your thoughts lest they take you to the land of 'no-return'. The 'Silence Please' board is just the barricade between us, in absence of that you may have opened your mouth much earlier and proven beyond doubt your idiocy.

You are not only limited by your vocabulary but by intelligence too. Why else would you think of coffee at this ungodly hour. So, even before you propose coffee with XY, let me politely refuse it.