srk : i'm a celebrity, get me out of here

It was not a dense jungle out there but an airport, Newark. And the task was neither to have a public bath nor eat roaches nor catch squids and put them in jars. The task was to answer a few security related questions and to prove one's credentials. Just being a bollywood star is not a recognition, what with rapists like Shiney Ahuja lurking around and druggists like Fardeen Khan roaming free and of course deer hunters like Salman Khan who not just hunts black-bucks but makes black bucks with movies like Chori Chori Chupke Chupke which was totally funded by underworld and add the trampling of poor street-sleepers under his Mitsubishi Landcruiser. So, in such a case if SRK is asked to prove his credentials and some relative/friend's name and number who can vouch for him, then what's wrong with that. And add to this the thumb rule of not being allowed to make any calls, what's wrong with that?

Hundreds and thousands of people have to undergo such security-based questioning, then why should SRK be spared. Is he not a common man for USA. Kamal Hassan was questioned, so was Mammooty and APJ Kalam. Its all done with a clean intention of security measure.

Now comes the tricky question. SRK has been frisked earlier too, he must've waited for his baggage even before this travel. So, why is he raising a hue and cry this time? Is he milking the issue to his advantage? He does not need publicity, he is a megastar. Then why is he going on and on. Kamal Hassan, APJ Kalam and others haven't revisited their experience or retold it.

This incident comes close on the heels of Emraan Hashmi claiming that he was not given housing because of his religious background. Later it was clarified that the owner was not interested in selling the proprety since his son has decided to settle in Mumbai. A case was then filed against Emraan Hashmi for reverse-discrimination.

Coming back to SRK, he wanted special treatment at the airport. But what for? Hasn't he seen Sarfarosh where an ambassador of art and culture turns out to be the culprit. Moreover, when will we Indians get out of the habit of tu jaanta nahi mere baap ko or tu jaanta hai mai kaun hoon?

Instead of crying foul we should make our security measures stringent. We should frisk any outsider/foreigner and then garland them; be it Bill Clinton or Brad Pitt.

As for SRK, he was let off free; but obviously. And he is making a big deal of it. It has already generated publicty and created a buzz for his new movie My Name Is Khan where he plays an autistic man who is harrassed by the security keepers of US only because his name is Khan ... xyz Khan

preventive steps for h1n1

i received the following info through an email, so i thought of sharing it with everybody. here goes:

Most N95 respirators are designed to filter 95% particulates of 0.3µ, while the size of H1N1 virus is about 0.1µ. Hence, dependence on N95 to protect against H1N1 is like protecting against rain with an umbrella made of mosquito net.

Tamiflu does not kill but prevents H1N1 from further proliferation till the virus limits itself in about 1-2 weeks (its natural cycle). H1N1, like other Influenza A viruses, only infects the upper respiratory tract and proliferates (only) there. The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/ throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible not coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps - not fully highlighted in most official communications - can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1.  Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).

2.  "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).

3.  Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don't trust salt). H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4.  Similar to 3 above, clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water. Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.

5.  Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C (Amla and other citrus fruits). If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

6.  Drink as much of warm liquids as you can. Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

All these are simple ways to prevent, within means of most households, and certainly much less painful than to wait in long queues outside public hospitals.

swine flu awareness : h1n1 helplines in bangalore

Latest update: Bangalore death toll becomes 5 and all-India death toll figure is at 27

Here's a list of hospitals who treats H1N1 flu in Bangalore; Make it handy to help others.

Mallya 080 22277979

Manipal 080 25023512

St.Martha's 080 22275081

Malliage Medical Centre 080 22203333

St.John's 080 22065000

Amedkar Hospital 080 25476496

Vydehi Hospital 080 28413385

M.S.Ramaiah 080 23608888

City Hospital, Rajajinagar 080 23131777

Pristine Hospital 080 41354444

Mahabhodi Malligae Hospital 080 26565678

Victoria Hospital, Kalasipalayam, KR Market, Phone : 26703294

Lakeside Hospital, Meanee Avenue, Near Ulsoor lake, Phone 25366725


Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Chest Diseases, Near Kidwai Cancer Hospital. Phone : 26632634


Check here for more details: http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/qa.htm

hungry kya ???

kaminey : movie review and first feelers

this is one movie i have been waiting for and its finally gonna release tomorrow. looking forward to seeing shahid after a long time and vishal's direction is the talk of the town. the songs have already created a buzz and now the movie. i am quite sure the movie will be a 'dhan-te-nan' stuff. the first review is out and the movie seems to be excellent. here are the first feelers

Once in a particularly blue moon, comes a film that makes you wolf-whistle. One that then ties you to the edge of your seat and forcibly pins you there and pounces on you, eventually leaving you sitting in the dark, drained and grinning and more satisfied than a film has any business leaving you.

the reviewer is extremely happy with the movie, its theme and the presentation. check this

Yet before getting into the breakneck chaos, it is this unapologetic figure-it-out stance that we must initially applaud. Too often are our caper films and thrillers compromised by oversimplification and spoonfeeding, by filmmakers believing audiences need things spelt out and giving them bite-sized flashbacks to easily digest each twist. No more, says Bhardwaj, throwing us a delicious jigsaw and letting things fall into place in their own sweet time.

i would love to put more excerpts, but its better u read the review here
another reviewer starts off his review with these words

When was the last time you came out of a film wishing you could go back in and watch it again immediately so the excitement in your stomach stays longer?

he goes on to praise the movie and the genre that it falls in

It's an unpredictable crime drama that combines violence and dark humor in a manner that's reminiscent of the films of Quentin Tarantino, Guy Ritchie and the Coen Brothers. And yet Kaminey is so original and inventive in the manner in which it takes Bollywood's favorite formula - twin brothers - and turns it on its head.

last of my excerpts

The real strength of Kaminey is its writing. The non-linear screenplay is filled with unfamiliar twists and confusing turns that are likely to baffle you along the way; yet they're all neatly tied up and culminate in a thrilling climax which is violent and comical in equal parts.

read the entire review by clicking here

do watch the movie, i am sure it will be fenfational, fuperb, fexy and fatak.

living on hope ...

Donkey A: My owner beats me a Lot.

Donkey B: Why don't you run away ?

Donkey A: I wanted to.... but my future is really bright here...

Donkey B: How do you say that?

Donkey A: Whenever my owner's beautiful daughter commits a mistake, my owner warns her by saying, "I'll marry you with a donkey if you repeat any mistake!"
That's why I'm still here........

Moral: Keeping hopes may not improve your future, but it will certainly reduce the pain of today !!!

giselle monteiro : harleen kaur of 'love aaj kal'

This brazilian beauty captured the imagination of cine-goers as the demure 'harleen kaur'. Seeing her in the movie, nobody would ever believe that she is not indian. Her simplicity was her USP. She had some of the best scenes in the movie, like sipping black-tea; the expression on her face was fabulous. She emoted well, of course the 'adaa' was missing because that is a little difficult to adapt. Anyways, loved her in the movie.

IT Guys, Please Excuse!

Off-late I have been hearing about a lot of lay-offs and lots of IT professionals losing their jobs. In fact, the other day I received an email-forward which had a screen-shot of some girl’s profile in a matrimonial website. Her preference had this strange condition – IT guys, please excuse.

So, the downturn and recession has hit the matrimonial market too. Girls are no longer feeling secure enough about her guy having an IT job. These were the same people chasing IT guys because of their pay-packet and onsite offers to US and UK. An economic recession and IT guys have become the new untouchables. Money has become so big a matter, that no other virtue is considered. In fact, the IT guys in cities like Bangalore, Pune and Hyderabad are asked by prospective in-laws if they were on bench.

This new and strange phenomenon reminded me of an old song from the movie Vidhata, directed by Subhash Ghai. The song was vulgar for those times, and a big hush-hush. When I watched this movie on video, 20 years back, I had to fast-forward the song. The song was a tale of 7 friends who discussed the cons of marrying guys of varied professions.

saat saheliya khadi khadi
fariyaad sunaye ghadi ghadi

The first profession that they talk about is that of a doctor. This is one of the most popular professions and usually never spoken about condescendingly.

ek saheli ka
miya tha doctor
……….
raat bhar muaa sone na de
injection lagaye ghadi ghadi

The crude lyrics point to the perception of how doctors love to poke an injection for just about anything, of course here the injection is suggestive for something else.

Next comes the rugged profession of driving. City driving has become quite a nuisance and honking is one of the ways of finding our way out through the dense traffic.

ek sahlei ka
miya tha driver
……….
raat bhar muaa sone na de
pho pho bajaye ghadi ghadi

The lyrics here again point to the excessive pushing at the horns, thereby producing a loud noise which can keep your partner on bed and co-passengers on road, totally awake.

Tailoring was always a popular summer-time course, but as a profession … well in times of recession, any job is good enough.

ek saheli ka
miya tha darzi
……….
raat bhar muaa sone na de
sooyi chubhaaye ghadi ghadi

We have another reference to the poking phenomenon here, just as the injection. And again, this is the cause for getting rejected as well.

I am sure we have all suffered because of a dancing neighbour who would put on the music at odd hours and start their practise.

ek saheli ka
miya tha dancer
……….
raat bhar muaa sone na de
ta ta thaiyya karawe ghadi ghadi

This is akin to dancing to somebody’s tune or dancing at the snap of a finger. But seriously speaking, dancing on bed can be injurious as we are prone to twisting a muscle or spraining ourself.

Something else thats injurious to health is drinking. But drinking is a socially relevant necessary evil, else you can’t have a decent party.

ek saheli ka
miya sharabi
……….
raat bhar maka sone na de
bottle dikhaya ghadi ghadi

Showing a bottle time and again, don’t know what crude sense to make out of it. But a drunk partner should be totally avoided, they may just pass-out while you are still interested in the act.

Delivering mails, how lucrative is that? But, at one point of time being a postman used to be a sought after job.

ek saheli ka miya
miya tha daakiya
……….
raat bhar maka sowan na de
thappo lagaye ghadi ghadi ghadi

Stamping someone all over, that must be some fun. But yet, that’s not what some girls look forward to.

I didn’t know hailing from Kolhapur could be such a bad thing.

ek saheli ka
miya kolhapuri
………
raat bhar malaa sone na de
chappal dikhaye ghadi ghadi

Yeah, being a Kolhapuri should not be correlated to excessive use of slippers. And still, we have someone complaining about being shown the slipper, probably a case of domestic abuse and/or wife beating.

The lives of IT guys can be marred by involvement in activities of more than one of the professions mentioned above. What if the IT guy happened to be a Kolhapuri, he should be avoided. What if the IT guy drives to work everyday and ends up with carpal tunnel syndrome because of inordinate honking, he should definitely be avoided. What if the IT guy gets drunk in a project party and returns home totally deflated, do not consider such a person. So, where does that leave the IT guys?

If the above song were to be written now, they would surely have included the IT related professionals as well. Its quite a grim situation, the IT guy is in danger of losing his job on account of slowdown and he could be rejected by prospective brides on account of his profession. We probably have to wait for the next IT boom, because this is as bad as IT gets.

This post was first published on PFC

writing a story ...

couple of weeks back a friend of mine, who is an ad director, called me up to discuss a movie plot. he actually had a set idea, a couple of characters in mind and a few plot scenes which included a brief of the climax. he was just doing a round of snap poll, calling up his friends, to know if the idea has potential. and to ask if i could suggest a few more plot points etc

i liked the idea, so i decided that i would take those characters and write a story on it. but its so difficult to be original. after every sentence i just kept getting ideas from movies that i had seen and books that i had read. now, i do not want to lift any piece; i dont even want to be remotely inspired by works of others. thats where all my effort is going into, trying my best to avoid getting "inspired".

wrote a couple of paras and have the basic structure in mind. lets see how long it takes me to live with this idea and then transfer that into some good writing, still working on it ...

movie review : agyaat

ramgopal varma's latest movie arouses no interest in me at all. i feel that he has lost the touch, somehow. i haven't enjoyed any of his movies in the last 5 years. i did like the odd sarkar, but that was more due to the star factor of coming together of bachchans under one umbrella etc.

anyways, as expected this movie too falls under the same bracket of 'plz avoid' and 'save time, save money'. it will soon be telecast on tv, for sure.

nevertheless, lemme dish out a fe of the choicest words that critics have used, to describe this movie

Ram Gopal Varma's thriller is seriously, decidedly, indisputably funny -- in the ridiculous dialogues recycled by the characters (seems the writers ran out of words), in the forced, schmaltzy romantic interludes, and even the way almost all the characters in this ensemble cast are hurriedly bumped off or turn suicidal so that the lead pair can carry on with their lives.

if the above quote was not enough read this

You want to know what a reputed director does in his spare time with his spare group of lackeys and technicians. Well, he goes to a jungle and makes his characters play Ringa-Ringa-Roses around the same spot, dunks them in water and bumps them off. The more irrelevant you are, the earlier you die.

i could go on placing more sinppets, but i would rather recommend u to read the review yourself. click here to read the entire review.

there is yet another review which is a little more considerate towards the movie. check this out

Agyaat is neither The Blair Witch Project nor Cloverfield which may be obvious inspirations but were different because of the real-time, documentary feel that both films had. Agyaat reminds you more of the early seasons of the hit TV series Lost, where even the audience has no clue what it is exactly that is attacking the characters.

here are some more reassuring words that the movie is quite bearable

It's not great cinema, it isn't intended to be; Agyaat is an event picture which delivers a few good thrills. With a tighter first-half and a slicker pace and minus those two redundant item songs, this might have been a more compelling ride.

read the full review by clicking here.

i shall skip this movie, and maybe not even watch it on dvd or tv premiere. just waiting for rgv's rann

don't become irreplaceable ...

I was chatting with a colleague yesterday, and he mentioned that he was stuck in a rut. He has been doing the same damn thing for more than 4 yrs now. His client has not changed since he joined, and his current project has been going on for more than 2 yrs. He has been in the project since inception, and now he has become whole 'n' soul of the project. Developers have come and gone, and he has just watched it happen while being on the same seat. He is not stagnating as such because new responsibilities have been given to him, but he is just bugged of being there all the time.

That's when I told him: dude, you have become irreplaceable and that's the problem.

When someone becomes irreplaceable, the dependency on them increases and it soon seems like nothing can be done without them. The only positive I see is that, it's a project related matter; sooner or later they will find someone and start-off with KT's and a smooth transition of responsibilities from one shoulder to another shoulder will happen too.

But what if it's a real-life crisis? What if someone becomes irreplaceable in someone else's life?? How do we handle such situations??? We cannot just shift the burden from one shoulder to another, we cannot have a KT for a relationship because it's not a logical issue, it's a psychological issue; nothing to do with the brain and everything to do with the heart.

There are no easy answers, but I am not looking for it anyways. All I can say is, please don't get overly-dependant on anybody; and please oh! please ... don't become irreplaceable.

something to think about ...

I received this piece as an email. It got to me thinking and so I felt I should share it with everybody. Here it goes:

If we miniaturize the world population [population of the Earth] to a small town with 100 people and keep the proportions, it will look like this -
57 Asians 21 Europeans 14 Americans (northern and southern) 8 Africans
52 women 48 men
70 coloured-skins 30 caucasians
6 people would own 59% of the whole world wealth and all of them will be from the United States of America
80 would have bad living conditions
70 will be uneducated
50 will be underfed
1 would die
2 would be born
1 will have a computer
1 (only one) will have higher education

Isn't this shocking !!!

Kaun Banega Mera Pati

Every young woman dreams of a perfect marriage. There is a right time in your life to get married, to become a wife and mother. I am a cultured Indian woman with good values and I have reached a stage where I need a companion with whom I can share my love, joy, sorrow and success with. For me that time has arrived. However I want to solemnize my marriage in the presence of all my fans who have been supportive throughout — Rakhi Sawant

No, this post is not on Rakhi Sawant. In fact, I wanted to write this from quite sometime but her new reality show Rakhi Ka Swayamvar pushed me into writing it without further delay. I was just twiddling my thumb and wondering about all those actresses who are still single and what’s going on in their mind/heart. While we see that the guys entering the industry are mostly committed/married, the girls are still out there looking/thinking/choosing etc.

When Aamir Khan, SRK, Sunil Shetty etc entered the industry, they were married already. Then guys like Akshay Kumar, Bobby Deol, Fardeen Khan, Zayed Khan, Abhishek Bachchan, Hrithik Roshan etc also tied the know. In fact, right now except Salman from yester-years and Ranbir Kapoor from current generation are the only eligible bachelors. But just see this list of actresses and their ages mentioned [social faux pas, we can mention their weight but not their age] and you may wonder too, what are they waiting for!

Manisha Koirala – 38 yrs – Having made her debut in Saudagar, she had a great start to her career. But somewhere down the line she lost her way. She was briefly seen in Company, Lajja etc; but her last best work was a decade ago in Dil Se. She dated quite a few guys, but recently it has been reported that she is engaged to Christpin Conroy, the Australian ambassador to Nepal.

Nandana Sen – 41 yrs – D/o Amartya Sen – She made a late debut in movie industry and no one knows where he career is going. Firstly, I was shocked to know that she is in her early 40’s; I thought she was in mid 30’s. So, there you have it; 40+ and still single.

Tabu – 38 yrs – Her career had a late start, thanks to Prem getting delayed by 5 years. This child-artist who had acted alongside Dev Anand had to wait really long for her film debut. She finally made her mark with movies like Chandni Bar, Maqbool, Chini Kum etc. Yes, the chini is still kum in her life.

Urmila Matondkar – 35 yrs – Another child artist, first seen in Shashi Kapoor’s Kalyug and then in Masoom; she had a great time in the industry. With movies like Rangeela, Judaai, Kaun, Indian etc she had a nice run in BO; sh also earned critical acclaim for Pinjar and Maine Gandhi Ko Nahi Mara. But off-late looks like her career is ending the same way it started, spate of flops.

Lisa Ray – 37 yrs – She never belonged here, although she did rise to fame with Afreen video and movies like Kasoor, Bollywood Hollywood and Water. Wonder who her supermodel hubby is gonna be!



Preity Zinta – 34 yrs – She is one brave woman, coming from army background and not back-tarcking on her statements in court, she has lived the life she has wanted to. She was really good in whatever she did, even IPL. She is in a long relationship with  Ness Wadia and she has never hidden that, hats off to her. But, we all are waiting for the official ceremony.

Nagma – 34 yrs – She tried her luck in Hindi movies, when it did not work out well she went down-South and created waves with Kadhalan, Love Birds etc. But she too lost her way, joined Art Of Living; she is still somewhere learning to live, living to learn.

Sushmita Sen – 33 yrs – One of the most out-spoken actresses and she started the trend of not hiding anything and being open to the world, whether it was the relationships she had with married men or the adoption of a girl-child whom she named Rene, meaning ressurrection. Wish she finds a nice guy and ressurrects her life.

Shilpa Shetty – 33 yrs – I have already written about here, click here. All I can say is that, its not over till the official ceremony is performed.

Rani Mukherjee – 31 yrs – She was a winner all the way, starting with KKHH. She did some fabulous work in Black, Saathiya etc, but now she is struggling with her last few movies not doing well. She also had to come clean on Adi Chopra when people/media suspected that she secretly married him. Hope she finds someone the way her cousin Kajol did, and settle down.



The list is quite long and it will get boring if I start listing out everybody. But I do think that there is a right time for everybody when they have to make a call. Madhuri Dixit, Sridevi, Meenakshi Shehsadri etc have done it in the past; retire gracefully or at least retreat and take some time off for themselves and concentrate on personal life. By the way, I am not getting judgemental or overly concerned about it. It was just a thought, so please do take it the right way.

Ths post was first published on PFC

quotes : when harry met sally

This movie is one of my all time fave movies. I did not want to write a review of it, too late to write one. So, I thought I would just make a small compilation of quotes from the movie which would capture all the wonderful moments.

Harry: You know you just get to a certain point where you get tired of the whole thing.
Sally: What "whole thing"?
Harry: The whole life-of-a-single-guy thing. You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner. You go dancing, you do the white-man's over-bite, go back to her place, you have sex and the minute you're finished you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home. Is thirty seconds enough?
Sally: That's what you're thinking? Is that true?
Harry: Sure! All men think that. How long do you want to be held afterwards? All night, right? See there's your problem, somewhere between thirty seconds and all night is your problem.
Sally: I don't have a problem! Harry: Yeah you do.

*

Jess: I don't understand this relationship.
Harry: What do you mean?
Jess: You enjoy being with her?
Harry: Yeah. Jess: You find her attractive?
Harry: Yeah. Jess: And you're not sleeping with her.
Harry: No. Jess: You're afraid to let yourself be happy.
Harry: Why can't you give me credit for this? This is a big thing for me. I never had a relationship with a woman that didn't involve sex. I feel like I'm growing. ...
Harry: It's very freeing. I can say anything to her.
Jess: Are you saying you can say things to her you can't say to me?
Harry: Nah, it's just different. It's a whole new perspective. I get the woman's point of view on things. She tells me about the men she goes out with and I can talk to her about the women that I see.
Jess: You tell her about other women.
Harry: Yeah. Like the other night. I made love to this woman, and it was so incredible, I took her to a place that wasn't human, she actually meowed.
Jess: You made a woman meow?
Harry: Yeah. That's the point, I can say these things to her. And the great thing is, I don't have to lie because I'm not always thinking about how to get her into bed. I can just be myself.
Jess: You made a woman meow?

*

Harry: I think they have an OK time.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: What do you mean how do I know? I know.
Sally: Because they... Harry: Yes, because they...
Sally: And how do you know that they really...
Harry: What are you saying, that they fake orgasm?
Sally: It's possible.
Harry: Get outta here!
Sally: Why? Most women at one time or another have faked it.
Harry: Well they haven't faked it with me.
Sally: How do you know? Harry: Because I know. Sally: Oh, right, that's right, I forgot, you're a man.
Harry: What is that supposed to mean?
Sally: Nothing. It's just that all men are sure it never happened to them and that most women at one time or another have done it so you do the math.
Harry: You don't think that I could tell the difference?
Sally: No.
Harry: Get outta here. [Sally begins to fake an orgasm]
Harry: Are you OK? [Sally continues very audibly, attracting the attention of nearly every customer in the cafe. Afterwards, she returns to eating her dessert]
Older Woman Customer: [to waiter] I'll have what she's having.

*

Sally: I don't have to take this crap from you.
Harry: If you're so over Joe, why aren't you seeing anyone?
Sally: I see people.
Harry: See people? Have you slept with one person since you broke up with Joe?
Sally: What the hell does that have to do with anything? That will prove I'm over Joe? Because I fuck somebody? Harry, you're gonna have to move back to New Jersey because you've slept with everybody in New York and I don't see that turning Helen into a faint memory for you. Besides, I will make love to somebody when it is making love. Not the way you do it like you're out for revenge or something.
Harry: Are you finished now?
Sally: Yes.
Harry: Can I say something?
Sally: Yes.
Harry: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

*

Harry: Why can't we get past this? I mean, are we gonna carry this thing around forever?
Sally: Forever? It just happened.
Harry: It happened three weeks ago. You know how a year to a person is like seven years to a dog?
Sally: Yes. Is one of us supposed to be a dog in this scenario?
Harry: Yes.
Sally: Who is the dog?
Harry: You are.
Sally: I am? I am the dog? I am the dog?
Harry: Um-hmm.
Sally: I am the dog. I-I don't see that Harry. If anybody is the dog, you are the dog. You want to act like what happened didn't mean anything.
Harry: I'm not saying it didn't mean anything. I am saying why does it have to mean everything?
Sally: Because it does, and you should know that better than anybody because the minute that it happens, you walk right out the door.
Harry: I didn't walk out.
Sally: No, sprinted is more like it.
Harry: We both agreed it was a mistake.
Sally: The worst mistake I've ever made.
Harry: What do you want from me?
Sally: I don't want anything from you!
Harry: Fine. Fine, but let's just get one thing straight. I did not go over there that night to make love to you, that is not why I went there. But you looked up at me with these big weepy eyes, don't go home night Harry, hold me a little longer Harry. What was I supposed to do?
Sally: What are you saying, you took pity on me?
Harry: No, I was...
Sally: Fuck you

*

Harry: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
Sally: What?
Harry: I love you.
Sally: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry: How about, you love me too.

*

Sally: I'm sorry, Harry. I know it's New Year's Eve. I know you're feeling lonely, but you just can't show up here, tell me you love me, and expect that to make everything all right. It doesn't work this way.
Harry: Well, how does it work?
Sally: I don't know, but not this way.
Harry: How about this way? I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Sally: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you, and I hate you, Harry. I really hate you. I hate you.

*

Sally: Harry, you're going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.

*

Harry: Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or later you're gonna be screaming at each other about who's gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of That's Mine, This Is Yours.
Marie: Harry.
Harry: Please, Jess, Marie. Do me a favor, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won't know whose is whose. 'Cause someday, believe it or not, you'll go 15 rounds over who's gonna get this coffee table. This stupid, wagon wheel, Roy Rogers, garage sale COFFEE TABLE.
Jess: I thought you liked it?
Harry: I was being nice.

*

Harry: You take someone to the airport, its clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.
Sally: Why?
Harry: Because eventually things move on and you don't take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore?
Sally: Its amazing. You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death.

*

Harry: There are two kinds of women - high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally: Which one am I?
Harry: You're the worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance
Sally: I don't see that.
Harry: You don't see that? Waiter, I'll begin with a house salad, but I don't want the regular dressing. I'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. "On the side" is a very big thing for you.
Sally: Well, I just want it the way I want it.
Harry: I know; high maintenance.

*

Sally: Amanda mentioned you had a dark side.
Harry: That's what drew her to me.
Sally: Your dark side?
Harry: Sure. Why? Don't you have a dark side? I know, you're probably one of those cheerful people who dot their "i's" with little hearts.
Sally: I have just as much of a dark side as the next person.
Harry: Oh, really? When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.

*

Marie: All I'm saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don't get him first, somebody else will, and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband

*

Sally: Well, basically it's the same dream I've been having since I was twelve.
Harry: Which is?
Sally: Okay, there's this guy...
Harry: What does he look like?
Sally: I don't know, he's just sort of faceless.
Harry: Faceless guy, okay.
Sally: He RIPS off my clothes.
Harry: And?
Sally: That's it.
Harry: That's it? Some faceless guy rips off all your clothes, and THAT'S the sex fantasy you've been having since you were twelve?
Sally: Well sometimes I vary it a little.
Harry: Which part?
Sally: What I'm wearing.

*

Sally: He just met her... She's supposed to be his transitional person, she's not supposed to be the ONE. All this time I thought he didn't want to get married. But, the truth is, he didn't want to marry me. He didn't love me.
Harry: If you could take him back now, would you?
Sally: No. But why didn't he want to marry me? What's the matter with me?
Harry: Nothing.
Sally: I'm difficult.
Harry: You're challenging.
Sally: I'm too structured, I'm completely closed off.
Harry: But in a good way.
Sally: No, no, no, I drove him away. AND, I'm gonna be forty.
Harry: When?
Sally: Someday.
Harry: In eight years.
Sally: But it's there. It's just sitting there, like some big dead end. And it's not the same for men. Charlie Chaplin had kids when he was 73.
Harry: Yeah, but he was too old to pick them up.

*

Sally: At least I got the apartment.
Harry: That's what everyone says. But, really, what's so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is look in the obituary section. You see who died, find out where they lived, and tip the doorman. What they could do to make it easier is combine the two. You know, Mr. Kline died yesterday, leaving behind a wife, two children, and a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning fireplace.

*

Harry: We're talking dream date compared to my horror. It started out fine, she's a very nice person, and we're sitting and we're talking at this Ethiopian restaurant that she wanted to go to. And I was making jokes, you know like, "Hey I didn't know that they had food in Ethiopia? This will be a quick meal. I'll order two empty plates and we can leave." Yeah, nothing from her not even a smile.

DJ of 'Rang De Basanti' stuck in IT field

DJ : wohi duniya de jhamele ..... seat aur PC dhoondo.....project paao..... te PM ki ishaaron pe nachte jaao....
tim lak lak te tim lak lak
u know gulabbo...... mennu iss company mei join huye 2 saal ho gaye..... fir bhi i am here only.
Offshore Develpment Centre ke darwajje ke is taraf... hum PM ko nachaate hai.....
to darwajje ki dooji taraf.....PM hum ko nachataa hai...
tim lak lak te tim lak lak

Sue : mai kuchh samjhi nahi

DJ : mennu bas itthe.....bench pe hi rehna hai.....
idhar......bench vaale log mennu jante hain .......bench pe DJ di koi aukaat hai...
baaki developers kehte hain .....DJ mein badi baat hai....project karega DJ
par andar....project mei achhe achhe DJ pis gaye....java code copy-paste karte karte...........

movie review : love aaj kal

the movie is finally out and i am waiting to watch it. i can do that only tomorrow as i returned late from work. but i did the next best thing...read a whole lot of reviews of the movie. all the reviews have been positive and that gives me hope that the movie will be good. more often than not, the critics get it wrong and i hope they are right this time.

anyways, let me just list out a few excerpts of the review for u:

one review says exactly what i feared, that the movie is just good when it could have been so much better.

Love Aaj Kal is a harmless, watchable film -- sad, because it could have been truly special. It has its moments in the first half, while the second half is an over-melodramatic drag.

the same review also has good things to say

Ali uses a very interesting device by casting Saif himself in the Kapoor flashbacks: Kapoor tells Khan how the boy reminds him of his youth, and so the Sikh Saif isn't Kapoor as he used to look, but Kapoor as both he and Saif can visualise him as the tale is narrated. It's a clever move even though Saif struggles rather laughably with his Punjabi early on in the film, and it doesn't help how the narrative inevitably flips back and forth between that and the overslanged Lay's-salesman Saif of today. A good move overall, though.

the entire review can be found here

here are words from another review that raves about the movie

After making the much loved Jab We Met, Imtiaz Ali succeeds in giving us an extremely different love story that we have never witnessed before on Indian screen. He scores high on his writing and his treatment of the film. In the initial 10 minutes he successfully establishes Saif and Deepika’s relationship and their character quirks. He surprises you then by putting a melancholic song (Ye Dooriyan) as opening credits role showing montages of various important twists of the plot that lie ahead.

and some more appreciation for the movie

Making the film extremely relatable to everyone who has ever been in love and broken off with his/her partner, Imtiaz takes it notches higher by his dialogues that sound simple but convey a lot. Plenty of scenes stay with you as you come out.

this review can be found here

i am booked for tomorrow, make sure that you watch it too.

Discerning Few : Rafi Sings For Bachchan

Today is Rafi's 29th death anniversary. Hope his soul is in peace.

na fankaar tujh sa tere baad aya
mohammed rafi tu bahut yaad aya
- A song from movie Kroadh



Just the other day I was watching the song and something struck me. I felt that the song was ironical in so many ways. Although its a tribute to Rafi Saab, it was sung by Md.Aziz, a so-called Rafi clone, whose voice is such a far cry from the soothing and melodious voice of Rafi. And the fact that the song was filmed on Amitabh Bachchan, whereas Rafi hardly sang a dozen songs for him.

That got me thinking of all the songs which Rafi Saab rendered for AB. Among the pearls of Kishore da songs, I really had to try hard to find the gems that Rafi had sung. And quite truly I found very few of those. I still wonder why the legendary singer was given such few songs to sing for the megastar. While I do agree that Kishore had become the defacto voice for AB, but you still had Mukesh singing for him in Kabhi Kabhie, Manhar Udhas sang a song in Abhimaan, Shabbir Kumar sang a dozen of them during the mid-1980’s in movies like Coolie and Mard, Md.Aziz sang for him in Khuda Gawah and more, Kumar Sanu gave us a nasal AB in Jaadugar and Geraftar; then why did music composers of 1970’s not give more songs to Rafi Saab? Anyways, instead of cribbing about what did-not and could-not happen, let us just enjoy whatever little that’s available of this actor-singer combination.

While I was making a quick list of the songs, much to my surprise I found that Manmohan Desai was the only director who got Rafi Saab to record for a lot of those BigB songs. And invariably, Laxmikant-Pyarelal was the music composer for the Desai flicks like Desh Premee, Naseeb and Suhaag. In fact, even outside of Manmohan Desai films, LP made use of Rafi’s tones for Dostana and Ek Nazar.

Let me start with one of the most melodious duets of Indian cinema, Teri Bindiya Re, what a composition it is! Everytime I hear it, I go into a wonderland of my own dream sequence. Lata-Rafi, at their very best, just take us back to the basics of classical training; and without straining a single chord deliver such fantastic melody. SD Burman, the music director who made this possible, should be given huge credit for this evergreen song. I only wish that Majrooh Saab had written a few more stanzas so that Lata-Rafi could cast a longer spell of magic. Why the hell is this song so short? Under 4 minutes! Ok, here I go cribbing again….forget it. Let me enjoy, thanking God for those little mercies that the song still exists in the hearts and minds of people.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAb-ru6rjXs&hl=en&fs=1]

Another Lata-Rafi duet, which did not get much airtime because the movie did not do well, was the song Patta Patta Boota Boota from the movie Ek Nazar. It was a LP composition, much in sync with the movie but not with the times that were. Its a forgotten song which comes up only when people talk about Mir’s poetry and/or Rafi’s voice and the effortless rendition. What a fine song, and it does not look odd on Bachchan’s persona either.

Let me stepback for a minute, one of the first songs which Rafi sang for BigB was for the movie Parwana and the song was Yu Na Sharma . Madan Mohan was the music composer and the situation was party-like where Kishore da sang the happy version of the song picturized on Navin Nischol. The same song is later sung in a sad version by Rafi for AB. The mood changes, the flavor changes, the voice changes, face changes but the melody remains. AB’s sullen expression and Rafi’s tones of dismay makes for such a beautfiul watch.

Another somber song which Rafi rendered wonderfully for AB was Mere Dost Kissa Ye Kya ho Gaya in Dostana. The strained relationship between AB and Shatru is brought out so well in this song. A restrained Rafi and a clean-shaven, boyish hair-cut and yet a grave-looking Bachchan was a treat. There is so much emotion in those words sung by Rafi and the expression on AB’s face is just unforgettable. In fact, except for this song, all other songs of Dostana were sung by Kishore da; including the title song, Dillagi Ne Di Hawa etc. And yet, for this song LP chose Rafi who did total justice to this gloomy song.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfKx-ZbWB-E&hl=en&fs=1]

Having mentioned the above songs, let me now come to the Manmohan Desai and LP combo. Desh Premee was quite a long winded movie with so many twists and turns, typical of any Desai movie. The movie was based on patriotism, regional, caste, creed and racial differences. Kishore da sang the fun songs Khatoon Ki Khidmat Mei, Gore Nahi Hum Kaale Sahi etc. But it was Rafi’s song of unity in diversity that won hearts. The title song, Nafrat Ki Lathi Todo, was symbolic of Desai’s movies. Though this song may not count among best of Rafi songs, but its the perfect song for national integration. And keeping in tradition with all the patriotic songs that Rafi has sung.

Teri Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi song, which later gave the title to Adi Chopra’s movie, was sung by Rafi for another Desai movie Suhaag, with music by LP. BigB in the disguise of a ek tara strung sardar and Rekha behind the garb for almost the entire song could have spelt disaster. But AB and Rekha carried it off, with Rafi crooning this playful number and Shailendra Singh lyrically rebutting him.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9vWH-VX3XA&hl=en&fs=1]

Another song from the same movie was the dandiya number, Sabse Bada Tera Naam O Sherowali, was devotionally sung by Rafi. Much later, Mehul Kumar copied the same sequence in Krantiveer, where the hero sings for Maa Sherawali while waiting for the villain to arrive on the scene. Anyways, Suhaag was an exceptional case where Rafi sang entirely for AB. There were two other songs, Athra Baras Ki Tu Hone Ko Ayi filmed on AB and Rekha in her kotha; and Aye Yaar Sun was a silly song where AB was training a blind Shashi Kapoor to ride a bike on his instructions, basically AB literally doing a backseat driving. Nowhere in the movie do we feel that Rafi’s voice does not suit BigB, at least this movie should have opened more doors for this combo. But probably the box-office report and producer’s superstition held them back from doing so.

Betwixt Desh Premee and Suhaag came Desai’s Naseeb. And much before the Hey-Baby’s and the Om-Shanti-Oms, there was John Jaani Janardhan. A star-studded song which was opportunistically filmed during the golden jubilee celebrations of Desai’s Dharam Veer. Desai made the best of the situation by shooting the song as guests kept coming in; they swayed a little, lip-synced a little and the song created history. This was another song which is a symbol of Desai’s secular credentials and all-inclusive approach. And Rafi singing to the tunes of LP was icing on the cake. He gave the song the much required gaiety and enjoyment without missing a single beat. It was one of the more overtly commercial songs of Rafi that went very well with AB’s merriment.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojy7CaunsYY&hl=en&fs=1]

I would like to mention two more songs which were not sung for AB, but nevertheless AB was the proxy of the voice. The song was filmed on unknown faces, but the thoughts and feelings were of AB. One of the song is Deewane Hain Deewano Ko Na Ghar Chahiye from Zanjeer which reflected AB’s thoughts in the movie; and the other is Ruthe Rab Ko Manana Asaan Hai from Majboor. Both songs were sung with great enthusiasm by Rafi Saab, although they were not to be shot on the main lead. That goes on to show the humility of this man who valued the song for what they were, nice compositions.

Amidst all these amusement let me not forget one of my favourite romantic songs of Rafi which also happens to be picturized on AB, which is Tumse Door Rehke. The movie was Aadalat and the music composer was Kalyanji-Anandji, perhaps the only time that the duo got Rafi to sing for AB. The song has such a nice ring to it, filled with fondness and yearning and the magic of Rafi’s voice and expression.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nm9pAdKZCkA&hl=en&fs=1]

Although Kishore da has sung more songs of AB, memorable ones too, I cherish these Rafi tracks as well. These songs should not be lost in the vast ocean of AB songs.

This post was first published on PFC

talli hone ke baad ...

Common lines after people get drunk :

• tu to mera bhai hai...bhai !!!
• you know i am not drunk...
• gaadi mai chalaunga...
• tu bura matt maan bhai...
• mai teri dil se izzat karta hoon..
• abbe, bol daal aaj usko...aar ya paar....
• aaj saali chad nahi rahi hai, kya baat hai??
• tu kya samajh raha hai mujhe chad gayi hai...
• ye matt samajh ki peeke bol raha hoon...
• yaar, tuney mera dil tod diya...
• tu bolnaa bhai, kya chahiye... jaan chahiye?.....hazir hai
• Abbe, mere ko aaj tak nahi chadhi...shart laga saala aaj tu..
• chal teri baat karaata hoon usse, phone number de uska...
• saale, teri bhabhi hai wo…bhabi ki nazar se dekh usko…
• yaar, tu samjha kar..... wo tere layak nahi hai…
• chal bhai, tu kah raha hai to tere liye chodh diya usko.... aaj se wo teri
• tujhe kya lagta hai mujhe chadh gayi hai... abhi ek full aur khatam kar sakta hoon…
• saale, mujhe matt sikha...... iss maamle mei baap hoon tera
• yaar, aaj uski bahut yaad aa rahi hai
• saala, aaj se daru band

ajab sanju ki gajab kahani

Today is Sanjay Dutt's 50th birthday. Wish him a very happy birthday.

The day I learnt that Sanjay Dutt is stepping into politics I was a little confused; I was wondering if it is his cup of tea or will he be just tasting it to add yet another experience in his already mired life. From what I have seen and heard about him, he is supposed to be a very emotional person who does things for friends, who takes decisions on the spur, and who can be frivolous at times. But, on the other hand he seems to be the ideal political candidate or guinea pig.

If we observe Sanju’s life and career graph and put it in a book or a movie, it will be an instant best-seller. The tough times that he has gone through and the happy days that he has seen have almost always been like a zebra-crossing, starting with his debut movie Rocky to joining Samajwadi Party.

With a successful father and a great dad-mom duo at home he was a much pampered child and he did get his dream debut in the movie industry with ‘Rocky’ which released in 1981. But he started off on wrong note, the movie bombed. His next movie Vidhata fared much better, more so because it had Dilip Kumar being directed by Subhash Ghai. After the success of ‘Vidhata’ he did a whole lot of forgettable movies like Mera Faisla, Jaan Ki Baazi, Jeeva etc.

Sanju shot to fame for his depiction of a guy who goes to Dubai to earn quick bucks and ends up becoming a drug peddler in ‘Naam’. I really loved this movie and this is one of the finest performances that he has given. It may have come naturally to him since he had been through a similar struggle in his personal life. His drug addiction and rehab stories are legendary and then his mother was fighting cancer and finally succumbed to it. All this may have added to his performance. He went on to act in a few more movies which fared in the box-office like Kabzaa, Mohabbat Ke Dushman, Imaandar, Kanoon Apna Apna etc.

Just when he was peaking in his career with hit movies like Sadak, Yodha, Krodh and Thaanedar; and just when he was in the league of Anil Kapoor, Sunny Deol and Jackie Shorff, he got arrested under TADA for illegal possession of arms and ammunitions[AK-56 was recovered from his house] and he was also charged in connection with the Bombay bomb-blasts of 1993. Soon after his arrest, Khalnayak released. The movie was about a boy Ballu who had lost his path and ends up on the wrong side of the law. The movie was surrounded with controversy, firstly because of the movie title and secondly because of the content and of course the infamous song choli ke peeche. The movie portrayed an ideal father who wants his son to come up on his own and live with honesty, whereas the son wants instant success and luxuries of life which lead him to wrong company. People equated this portrayal to his real life scenario, thereby creating a wrong perception of Sanju.

Sanju spent 1.5 yrs in Arthur Road jail. He did confess to the fact that he possessed the arms and his companionship with the other co-accused but he denied any knowledge of the bigger conspiracy. He was finally granted bail, and so started his tryst with jail visits on and off. After getting released from jail, he made a great comeback with movies like Daag, Dushman, Vaastav, Mission Kashmir. He also tried his hands in the comedy genre with movies like Haseena Maan Jayegi, Khoobsurat, Jodi No.1 etc.

Finally, he had his best-time ever in movie industry with success of movies like Kaante, Munnabhai MBBS, Parineeta, Dus, Zinda, Lage Raho Munnabhai. It took him a lot of time to change the image from Baba to Munnabhai, from a guy who had been through rehab to a guy who rediscovered Gandhi; from being careless and ruthless to being sensitive and caring; from being a vagabond to finally settling down.

Sanju’s personal life is also zig-zagged with lots of happy and sad moments. He lost his mother and first wife, Richa Sharma to cancer. His daughter Trishala, from his first marriage, lives far away in US and he does not get to meet her often. While he was in jail, his fiance Rhea Pillai stood by him and she even led quite a few movements asking fellow actors to come in support of him. Once Sanju was out of jail, he married Rhea but that marriage did not last long. They finally called it quits and she is happily married to Leander Paes, the tennis star. Now, Sanju has involved himself in another controversy – marrying Manyata Dilnawaz Sheikh. Manyata’s previous marriage has not yet been declared null and void and she has hopped onto another one, thereby attracting media attention.

He has also estranged his sister Priya Dutt in the process. Firstly he did not inform her about his marriage with Manyata and she got to know of it through a media scoop. And now he has declared that he will stand for election on a Samajwadi party ticket because of his newfound love for Amar Singh whom he calls his elder brother.

People get involved in controversy, but in Sanju’s case he has invited controversy, befriended it and thrived on it. But what is admirable about him is the fighting spirit, never-say-die, never give-up or give-in. He has been through the toughest of situations and come out unscathed; be it his drug abuse and rehab, loss of mom and first wife, jailed under TADA … he has seen it all.

Here is a short summary of events which has finally culminated into him joining politics:

1. a bollywood superstar
2. son of an illustrious and well respected actor-cum-politician[Sunil
Dutt was staunch congressman and a great example of man with Gandhian
principles and of course a brilliant actor]
3. a drug addict who has been through rehab
4. twin tragedies like losing his mother and wife to cancer
5. languished in jail under TADA on charges of abetting terrorism
6. second innings of film career as Munnabhai, thereby making a new
place for himself in people’s heart
7. marrying somebody else’s wife in a controversial manner
8. estranged relationship with sisters and daughter
9. finally taking a plunge into politics

The first 8 points don’t necessarily lead to the 9th point, but he probably is destiny’s child.

This post was first published on PFC

car war ... maruti ritz v/s fiat punto

i spotted a red fiat punto on the streets today and it looked awesome from the front and profile view. but its back looked so similar to the back of a maruti swift. i was actually tailing the car and did not really bother to notice it because the back resembled a swift. after overtaking the car i realized it was a fiat punto.

although that's the case, the car will be compared with maruti ritz and not swift. reason being that, both were launched around the same time; ritz came a little earlier. both are targetting the same 'hatchback' segment. both the cars have had great predecessors in the form of palio and swift, so the competition between these both will be immense.

based on design and safety features punto is way ahead, but ritz is economical and works well for the common man. the after-sales-service of maruti is unbeatable, and that will make sure that the sales of ritz far outdoes the sales of punto.

check out this TEAM-BHP link to know more.

Actress Of Yesteryear, Leela Naidu, Breathes Her Last

News has just come in that Leela Naidu is no more. It came as quite a surprise as she was not in her seventies yet; but her struggle with flu got the better of her this morning.

She was one of the first Femina Miss India's to turn into an actress, she was crowned the title in 1954. She acted in very few movies as she was quite selective about her work. I had been planning on watching her movie Ye Raaste Hain Pyar Ke starring Sunil Dutt, but was unable to do so. I have not seen any movies of hers yet. Now that she has passed away, will catch up with the movie this weekend itself. May her soul rest in peace.

don't be concerned about public opinion ... just save your ass

A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.

The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline: NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN .

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the headlines read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.

The next day the headlines read : NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas... The Bishop was buried the next day.

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer.

love aaj kal OR love aajkal

Aaj kal and aajkal have two different meanings. While aaj kal is a reference to today & tomorrow, aajkal means now-a-days. I am sure Imtiaz Ali has handled both meanings, aaj kal and aajkal.



Here's the dope on the movie. It begins with Saif and Deepika being in love with each other. But love is not what can keeo them together. They are ambitious genX youth who have ambitions which are of higher priority than love. So, taking a totally practical approach they part ways seeking their own paths. That's love aaj for you, the frivolous love of today's times.

Rishi Kapoor, who plays Saif's dad, narrates his lovestory. So, while the lovestory is of Rishi, Saif plays it out. Hence we see the sardar get-up of Saif, who is the younger version of Rishi. His dad narrates how his was love-at-first-sight. The moment he saw her, he just flipped. That's love kal for you, the love which drives people totally crazy and the love which makes them do anything for it.

Now that the comparison of aaj and kal is done, we are left with aajkal. Saif takes a leaf out of Rishi's book and chases Deepika Padukone. He realizes how love is the stability that he has been looking for and that she is the one with whom he can be happy forever. That's the love aajkal for you. Today, yesterday and the now-a-days...all find a place in this movie. I am just itching to watch it, you too watch out!

rendezvous in a library

I just came across this write-up which is an imaginary conversation that a guy has with a girl whom he chances upon, in a library:

Hi XX... My name is XY … If all the book covers were as attractive as you - the library would surely serve its intended purpose. I hope you are not tagged in the 'Reference' section. They say the library is a place of knowledge. And I realised the truth in that statement today, because I have actually gained enlightenment on what true beauty is - after I set my eyes upon you.

The one time I've seen you, the camera of my eye has captured the indelible image of your pretty face and is playing it over & over in the projector of my mind in rewind mode. I figured talking to you might push my life into fast-forward mode. Love begins with attraction. Attraction is catalysed by silence. So here I am - with the rhythmic beat of my heart-beat defying the domination of silence. The “Silence Please” display board in the library doesn’t hold good as my emotions overflow. But my vocabulary is unable to convey the whispers of my heart. But I shall still try.

I am not to sure on what I want to say. But I do know for sure that coffee is not available in the library. In the search for a more suitable environment, I solicit your presence in the nearby coffee shop... and the gentleman talking to you right now shall accompany you.

And here is where I come in. Below is my attempt to give a befitting reply to this infantile chatter:

Hi XY... I have been taught to never judge a book by the cover and that could be the reason for library not serving its purpose. I am in the 'magazine' section checking out an article on 'what men want'. Library is a place for knowledge, no doubt; and I have learnt how men tell the weirdest of things just to impress a girl.

The one time you saw me, you were floored and out of your senses. I tend to have that effect on men. But beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Lust begins with attraction, love begins with understanding each other. So, please hold the horses of your thoughts lest they take you to the land of 'no-return'. The 'Silence Please' board is just the barricade between us, in absence of that you may have opened your mouth much earlier and proven beyond doubt your idiocy.

You are not only limited by your vocabulary but by intelligence too. Why else would you think of coffee at this ungodly hour. So, even before you propose coffee with XY, let me politely refuse it.

megan fox ... hope this is good for my career

found this hilarious pic of miss.fox

Amole Gupte - Then And Now

The first ever screen appearance that I remember of Amole Gupte, was in Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar. He wore a grey blazer and was doing a running commentary on the last cycle race ... Sidharth Sharma reporting from the first check point at Pykara Junction .... etc. That was more than a decade and half ago, and things have changed since then.

When his name flashed allover the media as a result of his fantastic story/scripting of Taare Zameen Par, I just could not relate the two faces. The similarity between the younger Amole and the older one was zilch, I just wondered how Joker[TDK] would look with his make-up ripped off. It was a similar kind of feeling, seeing Amole with those long strands of silken hair falling allover the face. But that was just the beginning of the surprise. Sometime later when I learnt that he would be playing Priyanka Chopra's brother Bhope Bhau in Vishal Bharadwaj's movie Kaminey, I freaked out. My mind started swirling as I began imagining him playing the creepy character from the underbelly of Mumbai, and at the same time I was confused. How would a sensitive guy, who wrote TZP with such sincerity and innocence, pull off an underworld character who is supposed to be ruthless, gripy, wicked, whacky!

But even before TZP was in the making I fleetingly recalled that Amole was the host of a talk-show called Bindaas Bol which was telecast on SonyTv in the mid-90's. It was more of a discussion forum, much like We The People, hosted by NDTV which started years later, much after Bindaas Bol had come and gone. Even in Bindaas Bol, Amole was a fiery host/moderator with a ponytail. I don't remember all the episodes, but two of them I can vividly recall. One of the topics of discussion was on 'Acceptance Of Gays In Our Society' and I was quite impressed by the depth and maturity of the chat that took place, way ahead of times for mid-90's. I was really appreciative of the guy. The other topic was about 'techno-chor' where they were discussing how to cheat in exams using technology. Sanjay Dutt did that in Munnabhai MBBS, much much later, using hands-free. But the guys who participated in the discussion were using satellite communication and had that connected to their watches and other gadgets which was their own small-time inventions. It blew me off, I too wanted to do that for my 10th Board Exams back then. Well, he raked up a few other politically relevant issues in his show, some controversial and others not so much. But I don't seem to remember other episodes so well.

Anyways, Amole is a multi-talented personality. Being a product of FTII - Pune, he spent more than a decade there, learning all the various facets of film-making. He was a fantastic painter during his schooling days. I guess we all know that the characrter of Nikumb was based on his school teacher. Even in TZP, those paintings and caricatures/cartoons were all done by him. He put a lot of himself in the movie. Not just painted, he also wrote the song Mera Jahan:

A Little Sweet, A Little Sour
A Little Close Not Too Far
All I Need, All I Need
All I Need Is To Be Free

What a beautiful thought told with such innocence and child-like feelings, simple and straight. And here's the best part of that lyrical piece by him:

Udne Ko Sau Pankh Diye Hai
Chadhne Ko Khula Aasmaan
Mudne Ko Hai Karwat Karwat
Aur Badhne Ko Mera Jahan

The flights of fantasy that we all want to indulge in, but always skeptical of our own potential is very well worded here. The will to break free was always there. Then of course, the age old philosophy of one-life so live it well on our own terms. Beautifully expressed!

Bachpan Ke Din Chaar
Na Aayenge Baar Baar
Jee Le Jee Le Mere Yaar
Jeib Khaali To Udhaar
Jee Zindagi

I am still surprised that Children's Film Society of India [CFSI] turned down the script. All the panelists had approved of it, but the head Sai Paranjpe. She rejected it. Of all people, Sai Paranjpe, I am actually more than surprised, I am shcoked. Anyways, destiny works in weird ways.

He wished Akshaye Khanna could play the character of Ramshankar Nikumb. Reason being that, he was impressed with Akshay's portrayal of a sensitive painter who goes against societal norms, Sid in DCH. He went around with his script but never could meet Akshaye. That's when Aamir borrowed the script and read it, with due permission of course, and he wished to be a part of it. What transpired between them, I seriously don't know. All I know is that, TZP was made well, an awesome movie that swept the awards, was India's entry to the Oscars etc. Neither Amole nor Aamir want to broach this topic, again. Its a karmic cycle which will catch-up with either of the two or both, soon enough.

By the way, even before his freak appearance in JJWS[Tom Alter was supposed to play the part of the commentator, but that did not happen since he failed to turn up], he had done a movie with Aamir Khan. It was Ketan Mehta's movie Holi. A movie that I am still looking for, wonder if anybody can provide me some exclusive viewing of this. His association with Ketan Mehta was not new, he was the Assisstant Director of Mirch Masala, another fabulous movie by Ketan Mehta.

Coming back to the Bhope Bhau character in Kaminey, I am dying to see him perform. I wonder what he would bring to the screen. And not just this movie, I am also looking forward to his next venture Sapno Ko Ginte Ginte. It's a film revolving around children, I hear. Lets wait and watch!

Hillary Clinton Should Be Frisked By Air-India Staff

While Hillary Clinton is visiting India to strengthen ties of the two countries, someone is playing spoilsport. Very unintentionally though.

In the wake of Continental Airlines frisking our ex-President APJ Kalam, I guess even the security of Air-India should frisk her on her way back. Alas, this shall not happen as she does not travel by AI, but yet.

Continental Airlines' staff were totally ignorant about the protocol and inspite of repeated telling that APJ Kalam was a dignitary and ex-Prez of India, he was frisked. What's worse, they are unapologetic about it.

I hope the Govt Of India takes up this issue with USA and make sure that the entire country apologises for this faux-pas. This arrogant and bullying attitude of USA is not doing anybody any good. Hope they realise it soon. Anyways, all I wish is for an apology from the country, not just the damn airlines.

Update on 22/7/2009: Continental Airlines apologised after GOI offically lodged a complaint against them.

How do I?

I noticed a poem in the bulletin-board of my office and I felt like tweaking and playing around with it. Below is the result of that:

How do I survive those moments,
When air is filled with smoke and I cant breathe?

How do I survive those moments,
When the water from purifier is running dirty?

How do I survive those moments,
When flowers refuse to bloom inspite of watering the plants?

How do I survive those moments,
When road to success is always under construction?

How do I survive those moments,
When children start calling you ‘uncle’?

How do I survive those moments,
When you ping me incessantly and I am swamped with work?

How do I?

looking out for a treadmill, any suggestions ???

i was just out, looking for a treadmill in the streets of bangalore. never knew that there were so many models with so many considerations to make.

initially, i had made up my mind to buy a manual one. but the instructor [not the sales woman] informed us that the manual is not good in the long run. it causes back-ache because the entire impetus is on us to get the belts running. so, a lot of stress falls on the back in doing this. hence manual is not suggested. of course, the price difference is the issue here. while the manual ones come for less than 10k, the automatic ones are above 20k range. so, more than double.

the next consideration was foldable or non-foldable. the foldable one gives us more room and the floor beneath it can be cleaned too. this liberty is lost in the non-foldable one. but non-foldable has stability. since its always grounded, it gives a permanent stability. the foldable ones have to be adjusted everytime we unfold it.

finally, the brand...which ones are better? afton, stayfit, weslo caddence, toppro etc.

so, if you have any previous experience with it or you have any advices/considerations that i must make, then please do let me know. thanx in advance...

Proud Owner Of First Tata NANO

Here's the proud owner of the first Tata NANO, being handed the keys by Ratan Tata himself.

On Friday, Ashok Raghunath Vichare from Mumbai became the first lucky recipient of Tata NANO LX in silver color, which was handed to him in Concorde Motors. Tata has started delivering the NANO and all cars from their factory in Pantnagar have rolled out to destinations far and wide, all across India.

To know more click here.

Hillary Clinton Lands In Mumbai

Late last night Hillary Clinton landed in Mumbai amidst heavy downpour. She is on a 5-day visit to India to strengthen the Indo-US relationship.


She would be staying in Hotel Taj to show her solidarity with the people of Mumbai and do her bit to reduce the pain of the 26/11 attacks. She will be in the city till Sunday, and her next stop would be Delhi.

The agenda for today is a corporate event hosted by Ratan Tata. And later in the day she will be taking part in an event in Xavier's College along with Aamir Khan.

if mayawati were to be raped ...

if a dalit woman is raped, she gets a compensation of 25000 rupees; if mayawati were to be raped, should she be given one crore rupeees as compensation ... this may not have been the exact sentence what ritu bahuguna joshi, the cong chief of UP said, but it was to the same effect. and this led to the rampage of BSP members who burnt down her house, hounded her and she was finally arrested in a late night drama.

what joshi said is appalling, but nevertheless its a correct call. she could have put it more astutely and her choice of words could have been better, but the logic still holds good. the statement is not anti-dalit, its anti-women for sure.

the psychosis that mayawati has created about herself, giving more importance to herself than the social sector who has brought her to power. instead of working for the dalits, she has been going about with a halo around her head. someone needs to tell her that elephants and statues are not going to bring prosperity to UP, her programs and actions can, if she were to implement them.

and whenever anyone criticizes her, she shields herself with the proverbial 'dalit ki beti being harassed' remark. its high time people of UP woke up from their slumber and vote those people to power who can alleviate their living conditions.

Chick Flick: He's Just NOT That Into You

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

The above is the last line from the movie, and it sums up the movie for you. The movie was based on a 'best seller' book and was meant to be a guide for women in handling relationships or trying to understand and interpret the various signs that men send out. If a guy treats some girl like shit, he genuinely means that or if a guy doesn't call back then he seriously doesn't want to call. Stuck in such confusing atmosphere is Gigi[Ginnifer Goodwin], who just cannot decipher what a guy said when they ended their date. She acts too hard and sometimes looks desperate. That's when Alex[Justin Long] enters and starts making her understand how to read such signals.

Then we have a married couple who have known and been in love with each other from 6th grade, Janine[Jennifer Connelly] and Ben[Bradley Cooper], playing out the couple. Ben marries Janine under duress, but he does not feel the love and warmth anymore, adding to this is his wife's constant suspicion of his smoking habits. That's when he meets  Anna[Scarlett Johannson] who is really into him. What path should Ben choose? Go on with life and his wife or fall in love all over again or just have a fling with his new found muse and spice things up. Should Anna hope that Ben will fall in love with her and walk out on his wife?

At the other end of this quandry is Neil[Ben Affleck] and Beth[Jennifer Aniston] who have been in a relationship for 7 years but not married yet. Beth wants marriage while Ben thinks otherwise. On a bitter note, they have a fallout because Beth doesn't see a future in their relationship.

And of course, there is Conor[Kevin Connolly] who has a touch-and-go moments with Anna. They are always there for each other, but not in the same way. Conor goes out on a date with Gigi but does not call back and Anna is heed over heals in love with Ben who is married. Will Anna return Conor's affections?

The movie is a complex web of relationships. And one thing that strikes you is the general sense of ambiguity in the character. I mean, how can Anna hope that Ben will divorce his wife and marry her? Just because a similar thing happened to some guy somewhere, who found the love of his life after getting married? That's just an exception and not a rule. Why is Gigi so naive and gullible? Has she not learnt anything from her past experiences? I think the movie was aimed at telling us the difference between exception and rules. What works for one couple [or two people who are dating or in a relationship] need not work for others. There is destiny, situation, circumstances and above all, human choices which change by the moment.

The only characters with a sane mind are Beth, Neil and Alex. They are the only people who have their heads on their shoulders. When Alex advises Gigi, it all makes so much sense. Or when Neil and Beth talk about their needs from the relationship, that's so practical.

The movie is a nice watch and pretty interesting in parts. But more or less, its about the confused dating/relationship problems that leave you a little bored towards the end.

life is ...

leaving the house for work in the morning,
dressed in clothes that you bought on credit card,
driving through the traffic in a car that you are still paying for,
putting in fuel that you cannot afford,
in order to get to the job that you hate but need so badly;
so that you can pay for the clothes, car, fuel and the house
that you leave empty the whole day!

Inidan Military Parade In France's Bastille Day Celebrations

July 14th, 2009 is a historical day for India. As France celebrated the Bastille Day, Indian Navy, Army and Airforce troops, 400 in all, marched proudly. The Maratha regiment lead the march as the 90 member band played on with much pride and glee.



Not just that, Indian PM Manmohan Singh was the guest-of-honor. This was France's way of telling how close India is to them. A memorandum issued from French office read: India has a primary role on the international scene and we support India's candidacy to become a UN Security Council permanent member.



This is one of the most celebrated days of France and India's presence here will send out a great signal to the larger world community of India's growing dominance in all respect - education, military and warfare, entertainment etc.



This is a step in the right direction and one of the achievements for the Cong led UPA government. Lets raise a toast for this date with history.